Chapter 3 - Ready to Go.

Autumn's POV


I saw Janine narrow her eyes and I could tell she was about to make a snappy comment when Dan handed her her notebook.

"It was on you desk back inside I thought you might need it."

She seemed to smile a little, "Thanks."

Dan said hi to me and I gave him a tight smile as Janine pulled me on the bus. Clearly I was in trouble again.

She grabbed me by my shoulders, fixing me with a steel gaze, "You've worked your ass off for this chance haven't you?

"Well, yeah...." I looked at her, "I want this more than anything, but-"

"But nothing," She snapped, and then took a deep breath, "There's going to be shitty and shitty people in this industry and you can either let them trample you or grab a paddle, it's up to you." She glanced at the bus and waved to Panic! as they got on.

"I've seen many people come in and out, Autumn. You have a real shot," her voice turned more gentle, "Don't let your ego get in the way of it."

"MY ego isn't the problem," I said angrily, looking over at Brendon.

"...are you on the right bus?" Brendon asked, sounding genuinely confused as he looked at me.

"Brendon!" Janine said with a smile, rushing over to him, "I've been over the numbers with Gary and we decided to save ourselves a couple hundred quid and share a bus."

You must be Janine, hi," he smiled and shook her hand, naturally to destroy any hope of her being on my side, "That's fine, it makes sense."

Janine looked between the two of us, "Look, I understand that there has been some conflict over the stage, but we're all professionals here and we all want this tour to go on without a hitch, so whatever proverbial hatchet you two have, I would like you to bury it, because I only have so much Advil in such an enclosed space."

"It was nice to meet you, Brendon." Janine shook his hand again and nodded to me. "Autumn." And then headed towards the entrance of the bus, stepping off. Spencer followed suite.

I crossed my arms again.

"Well, I'm not apologizing." I said flatly.

Brendon smirked, "Sounds about right."

God, he pissed me off.

"Look, I'm not gonna worship you."

"Not expecting you to, but a little respect would be nice."

"Well I might offer respect, but there's no chance I'll like you."

Brendon smirked again, "Good, because I won't like you, either."

I rolled my eyes and opened one of the cabinets, finding a bottle of vodka, "Aha..."

Brendon shot me a look, "Hey-"

"Oh, come on, you owe me," I opened it and took a swig, "Weak ass vodka you got here, Urie."

Brendon scoffed, "I really don't need your approval, and you're to refer to me by my first name."

"Like fuck I am," I laughed and he stood up.

"I'm serious."

Dan, who had been quiet all this time, stood up, "Hey, guys, you don't have to-"

I turned to look at him. "Yes?"

Dan swallowed, "Look, a fight isn't-"

"Don't worry, I wouldn't hit a girl," Brendon replied, "Like she's much of one..."

Within seconds I had him pinned to the ground, me on top of him holding his wrists to the floor. Daniel ran out immediately and Brendon started screaming at me, "GET OFF ME YOU BITCH!"

"TAKE IT BACK!" I screamed back at him, "FUCKING TAKE IT BACK, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

In a split second, Janine was back on the bus. Before springing into action, she deftly slipped her fingers on a certain pressure point on my hand and bent my arm in a way to get me to back off and before Brendon could do anything else, did the same to him. Both of them us on our knees facing opposite directions and with our hands around our backs in what was unbelievable pain.

"If you two don't SHUT the HELL UP, I will have both your bands thrown out of this tour and if you don't believe I can do that, than just fuckin try me." Janine snapped. She was serious.

"He-" I started, and then Janine pressed my hand further up my back.

"I don't give two shits what he did." Janine noted that Brendon smirked and so she gave him the same treatment and he winced in pain.

"You two and being extremely disrespectful to the time and effort that people have put in to this tour! Even yourselves. You will spend the trip on opposite ends of the bus and are not allowed to talk to each other, do you understand? I don't care if you're the bloody pope." She glared at Brendon, "You are older than me for God's sake, try to act your age. I expect this sort of behavior from teenagers."

She then took a breath.

"If you two so much as look at each other funny you will be left at the next gas station or dirt road. do I make myself clear?"

I coughed, "Crystal..."

Janine didn't let me go and looked at Brendon, "And you?"

Brendon groaned, "Yeah yeah, fine."

She dropped us both and I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

We looked up to see Dan and Spencer looking rather scared, "Right... shall we get going?" I watched her walk past them and start talking to the driver, and within twenty minutes we were on the freeway and about to begin the long strenuous journey of guessing who will break the silence first.

I was sitting on the couch, reading a comic book when my phone started to vibrate. I looked down at it, and to my horror, saw the name of my foster mother. I stared at the phone.

I glanced over my notes of the upcomming events and sighed. there was so much that would need to be covered and so little time. there goes any sleep i planned on having. I thought and looked up around the bus and noticed that Autumn was staring at her phone in sheer horror, i slid over to her. "what's going on?"

I shook my head, "No...."

Janine looked over at her phone and noticed the number, "Well..."

"NOW she wants to talk," I tossed the phone across the bus, just missing Spencer as he exited the bathroom, "Sorry..."

"Evil ex?" Brendon quipped.

"I fucking wish." I said darkly. I'd never had a boyfriend.

Dan smirked and tossed me a bottle of rum to Janine, "You lose." She returned the smile. Some kind of inside joke to them, I'm sure.

I was starting to do nervous pacing. Spencer handed Janine the phone, to which she promptly pressed the end call button sending it straight to voicemail.

"Thanks," I said quietly. I was curled up in a ball now, my hood falling down over my head. I was deeply uncomfortable.

Dan got up and sat down beside me. He turned on the light and cracked open his leather bound book in silent support. I glanced over at his book, and he gave me a little look a comfort. I felt a bit better.

Brendon turned to look at Janine and she shook my head and whispered something to him. I could feel his eyes on me. I wasn't willing to talk to him, if ever.

"D'you believe in happy endings, Urie?" I asked him. He looked surprised to see me speaking to him.

"Well...fairy tales aren't real, so..." he trailed off.

"For the first time, I agree with you," I said, looking out the window. We all sat in silence for a little while after that, the bus ride to Manchester calm and serene.

A stop at a gas station was a welcome chance for me. I hopped off the bus happily and lit up a cigarette, exhaling and thinking as a memory washed over me. A memory that came without warning every once in awhile.

I remembered walking out the door, pulling my suitcase, the old and battered one. Hearing the screaming in the background. Knowing that I was finally leaving them all behind, for good. No more abuse, no more being called a liar when I begged for help. I was finally escaping, and somewhere I knew I would be safe. I got in the passenger's seat of Janine's car, feeling it speed away. Gone, forever. No more foster homes.

"You're safe, now," Janine said to me, both of us then sixteen, driving in the dark, "No one is gonna hurt you anymore."

I sighed, "Thank you. I owe you."

"You owe me nothing," she said quietly, "Only that you'll never look back."

Janine let me stay at her house that first night, and it turned into my regular place. I couch surfed often, still working on songs and trying to get by, but it was Janine that really rescued me. So when she asked if I'd go with her to London, where she'd been offered her dream job, I couldn't say no. But that feeling, the one of being lost, pushed away and forgotten, unwanted, never left me. I still fought it, almost every day. Hearing from that bitch of a foster mother was what did it.

"Camels, huh?" I jumped. Brendon was standing next to me.

"What? Yeah," I finished my smoke, putting it out on the ground. He leaned against the bus, lighting one up himself.

"Won't that destroy your precious voice?" I said jokingly, and he smiled– actually smiled! –at me.

"Bad habits die hard," Brendon tapped it quietly, exhaling a smoke ring, "So what's the deal? Some evil ex boyfriend texting you or something?" He laughed a bit, "I could answer next time and scare him away."

"What? You? Ha!" I laughed, "You wouldn't scare a mouse if you tried."

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

"You look like a deer in headlights," I told him, "I mean, not in a bad way, but you know..."

"Gee, thanks," Brendon inhaled, "Why're you so bitchy, anyway? Who did you wrong?"

"Doesn't really matter," I answered, not sure why I was bothering to carry on this conversation, "Guess you could say I'm used to being told I can't do much, 'cause I'm a chick." I looked at him. "But I can write a song, I can scream if I want to, and I play the keyboard like it's nobody's business."

"Keyboard? Me too. Anything else?"

"Keytar, guitar, bass, little bit of drums...even the clarinet, just a bit," I nodded, "Janine taught me that last one, but she's much better at it."

Brendon seemed almost impressed, "So, where you from?"

"The great white North known as Toronto, Canada," I said, "Janine too. Known her since we were teenagers."

"I'm from Vegas."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know?"

I leaned against the bus on my shoulder, turning to face him, "You really think I don't know who you guys are? I've had your records since they came out. And if you ask me, you're doing not too shabby after losing Ryan and Jon-"

"We didn't lose them," Brendon said, sounding a little snappy, "They left on their own accord."

He was angry. I was curious.

"Well, whatever the fuck they're doing, I could care less," I said, "But look, don't steal my stage time anymore. I'd appreciate if you acted at least professional."

"Same goes to you."

"To me?"

"Look, I'll call a truce if you abide by contract rules," Brendon told me, "Otherwise..."

"I'll take otherwise," I told him, walking towards the entrance of the bus as Janine waved us over, "Nobody tells me what to do, and I won't take orders from anyone." I didn't turn to see his reaction, but I knew it didn't matter. Brendon Urie and I were about to get on a very bumpy road, and little did I know just how bad it would be.